Love

Love they say enslaves and passion is a demon and many have been lost for love. I know this is true but I know too that without love we grope the tunnels of our lives and never see the sun. When I fell in love it was as though I looked into a mirror for the first time and saw myself. I lifted my hand in wonderment and felt my cheeks my neck. This was me. And when I had looked at myself and grown accustomed to who I was I was not afraid to hate parts of me because I wanted to be worthy of the mirror bearer.

Jeanette Winterson

Why Hire a Wedding Planner?

Simply Beautiful Words has created this blog series, “Why Hire?” to help you understand what to expect from services, highlight their value and give you some pointers to use in your consultations. I’ll touch base on a few on the most questioned vendors/services.

To start of our Why Hire? series, we’ll take a look at a wedding professional that is near and dear to our heart…Wedding Planners.

In the past, Wedding Planners have been thought of as a luxury for the wealthy. Not any more. An event planner is essential to ensuring your day is planned and executed as you have envisioned.

Wedding Planners (to include some other titles such as coordinators and event designers). They have studied their craft, developed their skills, maintained professional relationships and created a business for themselves. Wedding Planners and their companies are valid businesses and provide a valid service. Please treat them as such.

Why Hire A Wedding Planner

TIME

The average wedding will take 250-300 hours of planning. Process that number for a moment. Up to 300 hours or more!.

What does that number mean to you? It is equivalent to 8 weeks of working a full time job/40 hours per week. If you work full time, please take your salary, figure out your hourly rate (if necessary), multiply that hourly rate by 300.

SBC: I personally, love calling vendors, working with them to come up with a fabulous deal and/or idea for my clients. Researching, always finding new things and vendors, networking, compliling data and running prices per cake slice are things I do all day. Could you? I pride myself on doing my researching and providing my clients with all of the information they need to make an informed decision saving them time and ultimately…

MONEY

Wedding planners have developed professional relationships that make their jobs essential. These relationships affords the planner the ability to secure services or discounts that would not be offered to a private party. In addition, wedding planners possess business negotiating skills that can secure the best contracts and services for your wedding.

SBC: A time ago, one of the supporting sales pitches with planners was that they would guarantee saving you at least their fee. Which is a broad general statement. It is sortof, almost true in a lot of cases, but I would not want to gurantee that specifically. I have saved my clients the amount of my fee on several occassions. There were times when I didn’t save them the amount of my fee. But, I have ALWAYS secured deals, savings and discounts that far surpassed my clients expectations. Without a kickback/referral fee.

STRESS

Planning an event can be stressful in and of itself. Throw in the lifetime commitment, the overwhelming feelings of love, family, money, contracts, traditions and individuality and oh boy do you have a stress cocktail reading to explode.

Never fear, your wedding planner can be there. While they cannot take ALL of the stress away, they can take the details of planning off of your plate. You won’t have to worry about if one vendor sent their proposal and when do you have to have it back by and did the caterer make the last minute change to the menu and where can you find a caricature artist. Your planner will take care of all of that. And if they are good, just may be able to get you and your mother to see eye to eye on a few things. As well as, get the groom to really think about his preference between raspberry filling and a chocolate ganache.

SBC: I for one am a very calm person in general. I have an infectious amount of faith that everything will be ok and we can handle any little hiccups. I had a client who emailed me every Monday with a new set of woes that came up with her fiance over the weekend, I let her vent, and then continued with planning as usual. If you are not careful, one little issue can overshadow what really needs to be done and throw the whole planning timeline off.

COORDINATION

Whether you’ve had a wedding planner’s assistance throughout the process or have planned on your own, what is not up for debate 99% of the time is the fact that every event has and will need a coordinator. A wedding planner/coordinator will see to the plans, details and logistics of your wedding day.

If you have not hired a wedding planner up until this point, you may take advantage of the several Day of or Month of Packages offered by most planners. Planners at this stage come to the table to tie up the last details, coordinate all of the vendors, family and wedding party. These planners will also bring some of the specialized skills and knowledge to the table such as the all important time-line discussed by Blue Orchid Designs or boutonniere pinning discussed by LauraAuer.

SBC: This is what I tell my prospects and clients. Remember the stress we talked about above, this will be amplified 100x on the day of the wedding. Don’t let your mother, sister or best friend be responsible for supporting you and sharing in your day AND making sure the cake is delivered on time, the flowers are set up correctly, the right linens are on the table, the caterer is going to serve on time and the photographer needs directions. Do you? Of course not. I cannot stress enough how at the very least a Day of Coordinator is essential. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your family who extremely organized, optimistic, a quick thinker and doesn’t mind running around all day…COOL. If not, hire a coordinator. I want you to have the wonderful day you’ve envisioned.

PROFESSIONALISM

Hiring a wedding planner will afford you the peace of mind of having a professional oversee your wedding. As professional we hold ourselves to a code of ethics and standards that are mutually beneficial. We are there as your advocate and objective ally. We’ll give your professional, practical advice but never force our own opinion. It is still your wedding, you are planning it and can have all the fun that comes with that planning. But we can be your guidance and assistance.

ENJOYMENT

This is one of the best times of your life. Planning to wed the person you will spend the rest of your life with. What a wonderful journey you are about to embark on. A wedding planner can allow you the time and space to soak up the moments, to cherish the process and look forward with great expectation to your wedding day.

Happy Planning

Next in our “Why Hire?” series:   Your best friend’s husband has a nice camera, takes great shots of their kids and wouldn’t cost a dime so “Why Hire a Professional Photographer?”

Celebrate & Represent

With the first round of the January Bridal Shows already done and many, many more to come, you will undoubtedly become a…List-er (noun): One who makes lists. To do Lists. Vendor Lists. Color Swatch Lists and the…ahem…list goes on.

Yes there are a lot of things that are needed for a wedding and it will all get done. However, amid this myriad of lists try to remember what your wedding is. Of course silly, I know it is a marriage of 2 people and the beginning of the rest of their lives. I know.

But…to me…it is a CELEBRATION!

Think about it. Celebrating Marriage, Love, Life. Celebrating. Cherishing. Honoring.

A Celebration.

So if or when you lose your way amongst your lists, #1 Call on your Wedding Planner (if you don’t have one, give me a call) and #2 Think about what it will feel like to Celebrate YOU, YOUR Future Spouse, YOUR Family, YOUR Friends, YOUR Life, YOUR Love, YOUR Heritage, YOUR Culture, YOUR Religion. You will now be a part of one of the oldest, most sacred traditions that is worldwide. Represent!

(But please, don’t throw up gang signs in your wedding pictures)

My idea of Celebrating is Dancing and having a good time with family and friends. Cherish it.

Some of our family and friends can’t celebrate with one another, such as Cuban Americans and their families still residing in Cuba. I do hope that there will be some relaxing of the laws in the next administration to allow loved ones to see one another, to spend time with the older generation and meet the new generation.

This has been in my head ever since this weekend…so enjoy. Celebrate & Represent YOU!

(Psst…Eva Mendez. When you tie the knot…call me? I love your work.)

So I’m one of those women whose favorite movie is still Dirty Dancing. I watched it constantly, obsessively as an early teen. I even blogged about it as my favorite first dance from YouTube. This past weekend, I was thoroughly entertained by a TV showing of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. No it’s not the same…or even as good as the original, but I’m easily entertained.

Happy New Year Birthday!

The first thing I ALWAYS think of on New Year’s Day for the past 9 years is….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY…TO MY BEAUTIFUL SMART DAUGHTER, #1

My first child, #1, was born on January 1st…2000!  A New Year’s/Millennium Baby.  No, she was not the first of the day or the year or the millennium, but she was OUR first.

Every year since her birth, New Year’s Eve has consisted of her father, DigitalPharaoh, making a customized birthday cake painstakingly for hours with homemade icing and piecing together the perfect shape for Bear in the Big Blue House (1st birthday) or Dora or Nemo or High School Musical (last year’s cake).

However, this year was different.

#1:  She wants to go to the movies for her birthday (no party this year) WITHOUT her little brother and sister.  That’s a shocker for me because they’ve always done everything together and all of our birthdays have been celebrated within the family unit.  She’s growing up.

#2:  This is the first year in 8 years that her father DID NOT have to make her a birthday cake.  This was for several reasons:  we had Jesus’ birthday cake (insisted upon by Mini Me aka Diva aka #3) and my MIL brought a lemon cake when she came to visit this week.  So we were up to our eyeballs in cake.  And #1 graciously agreed to not have a custom cake this year and got an ice cream cake from the store.

AND

#3:  We actually went to a NYE party at our neighbor’s house and PARTIED! It was a true family house party and we haven’t danced, laughed, drank and was merry on NYE since…since before the children.

Ah…times are a changin’.  Change is good though.

To all of my readers, colleagues, clients, family and friends…Happy 2009!

May you continue to be blessed and better in 2009!

First Comes the Wedding…Then Comes the Marriage: Your 1st Anniversary

For all my newly-wives (and wives-to-be), I’ve created this series (original post) for the After Wedding aka Marriage. If you have a fear that once you put your Wedding Planning Binder away, you will feel naked and without a sense of direction, never fear, your to-do list still awaits you.

Traditionally, your First Wedding Anniversary is celebrated with the gift of Paper.

Here are a few simple and traditional suggestions: Books, a framed ketubah (Jewish), Tickets, Money (that’s a plus), a scrapbook, a letter/card (husbands beware if going this route make this ONE of her gifts), stationery, paper fan or parasol.

A more contemporary first anniversary gifts are clocks: wall clocks, cuckoo clocks, watches, pocket watches, alarm clocks or antique clocks.

Traditionally, the some women (or shall I say at least me, in my perfect little world) put a lot of significance on this anniversary. So ladies, if you are expecting a big to-do and your hubby is not known to make a big to-do over anything, help the guy out and give him a clue. Either directly or indirectly through trusted friend or family member.

Are you stumped on exactly HOW to celebrate your first anniversary? Check out these suggestions.

Many bakers now offer their wedding clients a Free 1st Anniversary cake.

On our First Anniversary, the DigitalPharaoh and I spent it at home, I believe (oh that’s so bad). I’m not quite sure what we did all day long. I was a new mother, our first daughter was 7 weeks old. The winter of 2000 was a cold and snowy one. We may have gone out during the day for a quick bite to eat, with the baby. We may have rented some movies…(uh..”Hun, what did we do for our 1st anniversary?” DP: “Uh…”) Hmmm…

Nevertheless…enjoy your first anniversary (and if you don’t do anything spectacular…remember, there will be many more, God willing).

Next up in our series: Awkward Questions, Awesome Answers

Complete Series

Sunday: Kick Off

Monday: Post Wedding-Wrap Up

Tuesday: To Change or Not to Change Your Name & How

Wednesday: Holidays

Thursday: Your 1^st Anniversary

Friday: Awkward Questions, Awesome Answers

Saturday: It’s Different

Be sure to leave a comment letting us know what Post-Wedding topics interest YOU.

First Come the Wedding…Then Comes the Marriage: Holidays

For all my newly-wives (and wives-to-be), I’ve created this series (original post) for the After Wedding aka Marriage. If you have a fear that once you put your Wedding Planning Binder away, you will feel naked and without a sense of direction, never fear, your to-do list still awaits you.

Over the past ten years, DigitalPharaoh and I have always had difficult decisions to make when the holidays came around.

Source

I come from a very large family who ALWAYS spent the holidays (Thanksgiving & Christmas) together. Throughout my childhood, these were some of my fondest memories. Gathered with my grandparenst, aunts, uncles and cousins celebrating family, love and FOOD. Yum! There were always at least 20-30 of us together in my “immediate” family.

DigitalPharaoh, on the other hand, spent his childhood holidays with his nuclear family unit consisting of his father, mother and sister. Occasionally, after celebrating at home, they’d take a ride to an aunt’s house, or a grandparent’s house for a quick visit. But no huge gatherings or celebrations.

Naturally, when we got married, I assumed we’d celebrate with my family because my family assumed we’d be celebrating with them anyway. And since his family didn’t make such a big deal out of the holidays, no problem, right? WRONG.

#1, it is not a good thing to assume anything, and I think we all know why. Secondly, is that really fair? To ask one’s spouse to forgo celebrating the holidays with their family for yours.

The “fun” of my family gatherings began to diminish by the time DP and I were married, so he couldn’t see why I “had” to be there. DP also never really blended well into my family (a post that I will not even post) so he wanted to spend the holidays with his family, especially after we had children.

If each of your families have long standing traditional celebrations, this subject, for some, will take a lot of sensitivity, compromise and standing your ground ALL AT ONCE.

Some couples will opt to spend the holidays with one family over another for practical reasons, such as distance, accomodations, or work schedules. Others will split the major days between the two families, Thanksgiving with his, Christmas with hers. Then reverse the next year.

However, you decide to do it make sure you talk about it ahead of time and come up with a plan. This plan should be based on a merging of both of your desires for the holiday season.

Needless to say, with all these years behind us, it still isn’t really fun to think about the holidays and what we’ll be doing or not doing. We’ve spent holidays with my family, we’ve spent it with his, we’ve spent it with both and we’ve spent it apart, we’ve spent it with neither. I fault this to our not talking about it, communicating it and following through on our desires in the beginning.

So, take some time to communicate about the upcoming holiday celebrations for your newly formed families. And if you need some tips, check out Marriage 101’s or Wedding Bee’s posts.

Want to know a big secret????

I’d like to spend the holidays all inclusive of those that we love and that love us. And to at least spend time with our families equally to let them know how equally important they are to us.

If I can plan a wedding, I should be able to plan the holiday season right? Well, wish me luck.

Ok, ok…maybe I’m not owning up to the fact that it would probably be like Four Christmases coming to movies theatres soon. HA! (I love Vince Vaughn in disfunctional relationships).

And Happy Holidays

Next up in our series: Your 1st Anniversary

Complete Series

Sunday: Kick Off

Monday: Post Wedding-Wrap Up

Tuesday: To Change or Not to Change Your Name & How

Wednesday: Holidays

Thursday: Your 1^st Anniversary

Friday: Awkward Questions, Awesome Answers

Saturday: It’s Different

Be sure to leave a comment letting us know what Post-Wedding topics interest YOU.

First Comes the Wedding…Then Comes the Marriage: Post-Wedding Wrap-Up

For all my newly-wives (and wives-to-be), I’ve created this series (original post) for the After Wedding aka Marriage. If you have a fear that once you put your Wedding Planning Binder away, you will feel naked and without a sense of direction, never fear, your to-do list still awaits you.

After your wedding is over and after the honeymoon, there are some wedding details that need to be closed out. Simply Beautiful Concept offers a Post-Wedding Wrap Up in their Classic and Most Beautiful Planning packages to cover rentals, returns, contracts and invoices. However, you can ensure a smooth close to your wedding by attending to the following areas:

Contracts

First things first, Security Deposits. Review your contracts if you placed a security deposit on any of your wedding related items, such as reception hall, rentals or transportation. You will want to confirm the method and time frame the vendor is to return your deposit.

Certain contracts, such as the Reception or Catering, may have required minimum dollar amounts or your bar may have been on consumption. Be sure to get final bills and figures to ensure you met your minimums, owe any balances or are due any refunds.

If any of your vendors did not provide some of the contracted services or substitutions were necessary, you may also be entitled to a refund of some of your cost.

100 Proof: Photography and Videography

Your photographer and/or videographer was great on your wedding day. You can’t wait to see the pictures/video! But before you start ringing his or her phone of the hook once your return flight hits the tarmac, check your contract. Most photographers/videographers have a specified time frame to present you with your proofs, albums, CD/DVD etc.

You will want to touch base with them soon after the wedding to see if there are any known issues that will delay delivery of your proofs or photographs or video. After that, let them do their thing. Remember, in high wedding season, your photographer/videographer may be booked every weekend, which leaves little time for editing, manipulating and printing. My DigitalPharaoh is a photographer, and I sometimes get impatient for my clients pictures before they do. I’ve come to realize that after hours and hours of adding effects, cropping, correcting etc, his eyes get a little crossed and he needs to take a break so that he can bring fresh eyes to the rest of the photos. You don’t want some really great photos and the rest looking like snapshots from a disposable camera because you had an unreasonable expectation. Ask your photographer during your initial consultation about these time frames. And after the wedding, hold them to it.

Thank You Cards

Etiquette states that Thank you notes for gifts should be sent as soon as possible after the gift is received, if this is prior to the wedding. For those gifts received after the wedding and if you plan to thank each guest for attending, 3 months is the maximum amount of time to complete this task.

Next up in our series: To Change or Not to Change Your Name & How

Complete Series

Sunday: Kick Off

Monday: Post Wedding-Wrap Up

Tuesday: To Change or Not to Change Your Name & How

Wednesday: Holidays

Thursday: Your 1^st Anniversary

Friday: Awkward Questions, Awesome Answers

Saturday: It’s Different

Be sure to leave a comment letting us know what Post-Wedding topics interest YOU.